17. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments
18. What goes ‘Oh, oh, oh’?
Santa walking backwards
19. Did Rudolf go to school?
No, he was Elf-taught
20. Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks
21. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
22. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps
23. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle
24. What do you call an old snowman?
Water
25. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even
26. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
27. What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws
28. What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm
29. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve
30. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
Twenty-five, because there’s “no L”
31. What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful
32. What does Santa get when he’s stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobia
33. What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
34. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis
35. What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
“I don’t like Brussels sprouts”
36. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you
37. Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters?
They keep loosing their needles
38. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells
39. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
40. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad
41. Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward
42. What do you call a reindeer who can’t see?
No-eye deer
43. How do you know if Santa is really a werewolf?
He has Santa claws
44. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places
45. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer
46. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show
47. What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker
48. Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care
49. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger
50. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered
If you haven’t groaned enough already, read our roundup of the worst Christmas jokes ever.
