The problem with masks, joked Sir Christopher Chope “is that very few people do wear [them] correctly. The World Health Organisation writes that as soon as you take off your facemask, you should wash your hands and you should discard your facemask and then wash your hands again!”

Clive Betts (Lab) told the House that miscreants who don’t wear a mask, when asked why, just make up an exemption [my friend Herbert always says “athletes foot”], and demanded to know what could be done to ascertain the truth – reflecting the inquisitional tone that so unsettled Steve Brine (Con). Under the terms of this legislation, pointed out Mr Brine, one could be forced to go into isolation after coming into contact with a “suspected” case of the omicron variant, whatever that means.

“There’s an element of Salem witch trials about this,” he said, the debate turning hyperbolic as the hours ticked by. If this were Massachusetts in 1692, of course, Labour would be calling for preventative measures against cackling hags and the Tory backbenches would insist that being turned into a frog is a matter of personal choice.

At 3.45pm, the snow lifted long enough for hundreds of MPs to trek bravely into the chamber and vote: masks passed 434-24, isolation by 431-36. The caucus for freedom proved small.

Then, as the sun fell and the wind picked up again, most of our wise MPs, deferring to the precautionary principle, evacuated the establishment and toddled off home.