A new report from the research group MIDiA claims that “the streaming world [will soon be] remade around ‘silver streamers’, following the 12 per cent increase in digital entertainment time, afforded by the pandemic-driven lockdowns, now dominating streaming engagement”.

What that means is that, at last, the streaming giant Netflix wants to make shows “targeted” at the over-55s – us Senior Railcard Holders – and no, I will not use the media-drone alliterative “silver streamers”, as we are not an homogenous tangle of Christmas tinsel.

Netflix and co are scared, because they’ve already burned through most of the younger demographics. About four-fifths of people aged 18 to 34 in the UK with internet connections are either subscribers, or have shared access. But, as Richard Broughton – director of Ampere Analysis, a market research firm – tells The Guardian: “Only half of those aged 55 to 64 and who are internet-connected, are subscribed or have access to Netflix.”

So, at last, Netflix and co, you realise you need us, even if it is so patronisingly late in the day. But how do you picture “us”? As carpet-slippered, walking-framed, dribbling “past-its” who only want to watch programmes about Lancaster bombers and Yorkshire vets? Think again! My post-war generation changed the world – in particular, the attitudes to and working conditions of women – and now, in our senior years, we’re likely to be still working, perhaps volunteering, certainly (if we are physically well) involved in the life of our communities and the debates that will affect our future, because, believe it or not, we have one. 

We’ll be around for a long time – and there’ll be more of us as the years pass – but let me warn you, we’re fickle, we’re demanding, and when it comes to television, we’re now (the MIDiA survey continues) “the largest demographic in binge-viewing”. We don’t “sit and stare” like some younger viewers: there is “a real risk of accelerated churn rates [as] the over-55s flex their digital muscles”. In other words, we switch off, even unsubscribe, if we’re bored. 

“The one thing holding Netflix back,” Broughton adds, “is [that] those [who] are not converting don’t like all the content Netflix currently offers. Netflix is beginning to tap into that with more new productions targeting these consumers.” Shall I help them to “tap in” with a bit of advice? Make programmes of wit, warmth and intelligence – for any age. I introduced my teenage grandchildren, for instance, to The Kominsky Method and Grace & Frankie. They love them. 

Other tips: ditch every crime series that opens with the discovery of a naked female body; cut down on explicit sex scenes, not because we’re prissy and condemnatory, but because we find them boring and hilarious in equal parts; stop portraying every older woman as a bitch, adulteress or ditsy Nana in a pinny whose life revolves around her grandchildren; and use swearing like curry powder, i.e. just an occasional pinch. Nobody swears continuously in real life! 

As a comedy writer, I have always written characters and stories that I identify with and want to see on screen. My most recent Radio 4 comedy, Conversations from a Long Marriage, was written for Joanna Lumley and Roger Allam, as a two-hander about a couple who had met in the Summer of Love and, 40 years later, are still passionate and “dancing in the street with Martha Reeves & The Vandellas”. 

But this show, now entering a third series, isn’t “aimed” at an “older demographic”. As our 20-year-old studio assistant observed, “You say this is about an older couple, but I had this argument with my girlfriend this morning.” Radio 4’s Feedback presenter, Roger Bolton, told me that his young married neighbours found the comedy reassuring: the long-marrieds had been through crises over the years, but their love and passion were shown to have survived.

So, Netflix, don’t start “targeting” us. We are the same inside as we were 40 years ago – just a little more selective. Find smart, strong, beautifully written stories, and if you make them, we will come. Provided you don’t put up the subscription.

 Conversations from A Long Marriage by Jan Etherington is on BBC Sounds