Dear Richard,

I changed departments in October with a brief to tighten things up in my new department, which was staffed by people about my age (I am 30) but with less experience. They had a reputation for great banter and team spirit but weren’t always great on details and deadlines. I was prepared for a certain amount of unpopularity (and anxious that the company wasn’t giving me the power to make changes that needed to be made), but I still took the move as I could see a way to achieve those changes and then maybe move on in a couple of years.

What has happened instead is social ostracism, sniggering behind my back, conversations cut short when I come into the room, bitchy remarks about me (relayed back to me by a client I knew better than they thought I did) and so on, I am not sure it’s sunk in that I am here – partly –to duct-tape over their work: this is more about their solidarity as a friendship group being challenged by a newcomer.

I know I’m not going to be here for ever – should I just grin and bear it?

–Anon, via email

Dear Anon,

Grin and bear it? What are you thinking of? I’m glad you wrote to me because it’s clear you badly need your sense of perspective restored, and fast.

You’re not taking part in some popularity contest. You’ve been charged with sorting out a sloppy department. So do it. Who cares if they resent you for shaking up their cosy conspiracy of mutual congratulation and comfort? You’re not there to be liked, are you? You’re there to improve efficiency. Whether they grasp that or simply see you as an outsider, you can hardly expect a round of applause at the end of each day, can you?

As for the backbiting and two-faced behaviour: I’m sorry, Anon, but grow up! You have to rise above that sort of nonsense if you’re going to make a success of your chosen career. You’re a manager – so manage.

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