And yet… Is it any wonder we feel as if the cyclists are taking over? In 2020, the National Cycle Network recorded 12,739 miles of signed routes, of which 5,220 miles were traffic-free paths and 7,519 miles were on-road.

As Peter Zanzottera, then a senior consultant at transport consultancy Steer Davies Gleave, informed the Scottish Parliament’s Transport Committee in 2009, “people love cycling, but hate cyclists”. 

It’s easy to see why: I only have to think about every time a cyclist yells at me for driving too close, or catches me up at traffic lights to get in my face about creeping into the cycle lane, or thunders down Portsmouth Road screaming at pensioners trying to cross, or jumps a red light. 

Ah, yes, jumping red lights, the devil-may-care cyclist’s favourite pastime. Or is it? There’s not much reliable data. One 2007 study by Transport for London found that 84 per cent of cyclists stopped at red lights – somewhat negated by another survey from the Institute of Advanced Motorists that found 57 per cent of cyclists admitted to red-light jumping. 

It’s hard to conclude much from this, beyond the need for bikes to have some kind of number plate, if only to assuage my anger that thundering peletons go untaxed, untested and untracked. I know how much I love cycling and I know how much I hate… well, bikeltons. 

I put these points to Barny Stutter, who has trained professional drivers and cyclists alike to reduce road accidents. His work with HGV drivers in London has helped cut cyclist fatalities in the capital to single figures – five in 2019, compared with 17 just 10 years earlier.

“What do motorists want?” he complains. “Do they want to not bother looking when they open the door – in which case, cyclists should be able to pull out into the middle of the road? In central London, seven out of 10 cycle accidents involve stationary cars. I love driving, but I know that most motorists are breaking the law most of the time – pavement parking, speeding, using phones as they drive. 

He adds, “In the time we’ve been talking, a motorist has killed someone. We’re so obsessed with cyclists jumping red lights, but 95 per cent of light-jumping vehicles that hit pedestrians are motorised.”

The psychology of this is complicated. Dr Tom Stafford, lecturer in psychology and cognitive science, suggests that motorists are antagonistic towards cyclists because they think they offend the moral order. In 2013, he wrote: “The whole intricate dance of the rush-hour junction only works because people know the rules and, by and large, follow them. Keeping in lane, indicating properly, first her turn, now mine, now yours.

“Then along come cyclists, innocently following what they see are the rules of the road, but doing things that drivers aren’t allowed to: overtaking queues of cars, moving at well below the speed limit or undertaking on the inside.”

Stafford quotes a 2002 research paper from the University of Zurich on “altruistic punishment” that suggests social “defectors” will always excite negative emotions. 

It’s just, why do these social defectors have to be so smug about their bikelton ways?