Seven Ballon d’Ors, four Champions Leagues, 10 Spanish titles, a Copa America, 786 goals, one enormous burger. It would be a stretch to call this the highlight of Lionel Messi’s career, but the world’s best footballer (don’t @ me) has dipped his toes into the culinary world and, perhaps surprisingly, it wasn’t terrible. 

I can’t say I’m a Hard Rock Café disciple. I haven’t been to all 253 branches and I haven’t bought the t-shirts. I’ve been once, I think, in Barcelona. I was very drunk, danced to dad rock and had, to the best of my recollection, a magnificent time. In my mind the Hard Rock Café is basically a giant TGI Fridays, with better decorations, filled with tourists listening to Bruce Springsteen on a loop. 

But I love football, prefer Messi to the other one, am partial to the odd burger and am willing to give anything a go. Thus I found myself at the Piccadilly branch, just down the road from the original in Mayfair, queuing at opening time on launch day, like the giddy superfan that I really am not. 

The Argentianian superstar has put his name on the new burger as part of a five-year partnership with Hard Rock. Which, football fans might point out, is longer than his Paris Saint-Germain deal. Like most of his compatriots, Messi loves meat, so this venture isn’t as odd as it might seem, even if I doubt he’s quaffing calorific burgers regularly. On second thoughts, perhaps that explains his lack of goals this season.  

As mentioned, it was busy, though my waitress reassures me this is normal for a Wednesday at 12pm; it is matinée day in the West End after all. Music is pumping, but not the Boss. There’s Jimi Hendrix, Prince, the White Stripes, Jane’s Addiction. I’m enjoying it.