Trudeau then repeated his remarks in French. What he said, I wish I knew (I dropped French in favour of smoking behind the bike shed), one just has to hope that he wasn’t insulting Britain and its cooking for the francophone press, though there was a suspicious amount of nodding.

Questions, questions… The obvious candidates were “what’s your favourite colour” or “what would be your ideal date?” – but instead Justin was invited to comment on Canadian oil and gas exports to beleaguered allies (“we are going to have to make sure that we are there for each other”) and his failure to hit the Nato commitment on defence spending (we have been “inspired and humbled” by Ukraine). With each vapid answer, one began to detect that our visitor, while not exactly Einstein, was also playing dumb for a reason. Canada is an energy exporter. Trudeau poses like Greta Thunberg, but opposition politicians say that under his leadership, carbon emissions have actually risen.

Boris and thingummy from Holland are the ones in need of “solidarity” on energy. Canada has something to sell.

“This is a moment to stand for democracy,” said Justin, “and stay true to those values that have led to respect and prosperity around the world”. Thank you, Miss Canada. Boris wound up and as he strode off, Justin theatrically put on a mask, unaware that no one in Britain cares about Covid anymore. And besides, isn’t it a crime to cover up a face like that?