‘My partner’s parents earn more than mine – can I ask them to pay for our wedding?’

Dear Moral Money, 

My fiancée and I have recently announced our engagement and don’t want to leave it too long before the wedding. She has already started planning and has put together a very rough budget.

Having just bought our first home, we have nothing set aside for the ceremony. I have told her that I’d be quite happy to get married in a registry office, but she wants a traditional wedding and thinks we’ll probably end up spending around £15,000.

Both our sets of parents have indicated they will help us cover the cost of the big day. 

She comes from a well-off family, and her parents have plenty of savings. My parents, on the other hand, have very little. Although I know they’d like to help, I’d feel terrible asking them to pay so much.

Seeing as my fiancée is the one who wants the fancy ceremony, can I ask her parents to pay for it? It doesn’t seem fair to ask my parents to pay half when it wasn’t my idea to spend this much.

GH, via email

Congratulations on your engagement and on buying your first home. You are at a stage in life when large events come along thick and fast, often with a hefty price tag.

Many would say that opting not to shell out tens of thousands on a wedding is a prudent move. On the other hand, few would blame your bride-to-be for wanting to make the big day more special.

You are right to feel hesitant about asking your parents for the cash if they can’t afford it. They may feel obliged to pay, leaving them financially vulnerable.

Be wary of creating family rifts early on, however. While traditionally the bride’s family would often pay for the wedding, this practice is less common these days. Your fiancée, not to mention your future in-laws, may see it as unfair if you ask them to pay for the whole thing.

Even if they agree, it could potentially cause drama in the run up to the day itself. If they are funding the entire wedding, your fiancée’s parents may feel they should have a say over what the money is spent on. 

You could ask your parents to pay a smaller portion, and ask your fiancée’s family to pay for the rest. 

Another route would be to cover some of the bill yourself. This would spare you from asking your parents, while also avoiding a rift with your future in-laws. 

If you cannot afford this up front, some high street banks offer specialist wedding loans which you can usually pay off over up to eight years.

NatWest for example offers wedding loans of up to £19,950 at 3.5pc APR, repayable over up to eight years, while Barclays offers loans of up to £15,000 at 7.9pc APR, repayable over up to five years. 

Consider this option carefully however, as saddling yourself with too much debt at this stage might cause problems further down the line, especially if you are considering having children in the near future.

A good way forward might be to talk to your fiancée and find a compromise. You could decide to go for a smaller wedding, funded by her parents, which would not break the bank while still making the day special. 

Alternatively, you could delay the wedding for a year or so, save up some cash, and pay for it yourselves, perhaps with a contribution from both sets of parents proportionate to what they can afford.

Related Posts

the court deprived the mayor of chernigov of the right

The court deprived the mayor of Chernigov of the right to hold a state position – NAKC for one year

The court found the mayor guilty of an administrative offense: in addition to depriving him of the right to hold office, he ordered 6.8 thousand hryvnias. fine…

zelenskyi told how many settlements have already been liberated by

Zelenskyi told how many settlements have already been liberated by the Armed Forces of Ukraine and how many still remain

The President stressed that Ukraine has no right to leave any of its people in Russian occupation and Russian infiltration camps. Zelensky called the war in Ukraine…

caught in a landmine trap a group of policemen was

Caught in a landmine trap: a group of policemen was blown up in the Kherson region (photo)

Four more police officers are in the hospital. Doctors are fighting for their lives. A group of policemen died in Kherson Oblast \ photo by In the…

it is absolutely impossible to raise the tariff for the

It is absolutely impossible to raise the tariff for the transmission and dispatch of electricity during the war – the head of the association of entrepreneurs

Illustration by REUTERS The increase in tariffs for transmission and dispatching of electricity, which is initiated by the energy regulator NERCU, will be a devastating blow to…

in odesa district water supply has been restored in almost

In Odesa district, water supply has been restored in almost all communities

The water disappeared in the area due to a rocket strike by the enemy on December 5. Water was given in Odesa district / photo Water supply…

the pope compared the actions of the kremlin in ukraine

The Pope compared the actions of the Kremlin in Ukraine with the actions of Nazi Germany

He emphasized that history is repeating itself today. The Pope again mentioned the war in Ukraine photo by REUTERS During the general audience, Pope Francis again recalled…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *