Of all the German terms for which we don’t have equivalents in English, Verschlimbesserrung, the act of making something worse by trying to make it better, may be the most poetic. (Although kustomerseparationprism, their term for the little triangular divider at supermarket checkouts, comes a close second.)
Examples of Verschlimbesserung are all around us. Sitcoms depend on them: think of Father Ted trying to even out a dent in his car and trashing the whole thing. Sport is full of it, too. The Hundred seems to have hastened the demise of the England cricket team; Cristiano Ronaldo’s return has heralded the destruction of Manchester United. You could make a persuasive argument that most politics is a study in Verschlimbesserung.
It’s not a perfect translation, but we do have a version of this thought in English: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Here are five common causes of Verschlimbesserung in day to day life.
Honesty
At certain junctures we all feel compelled to speak the truth. A friend has put on weight, or is drinking too much, or sleeping with someone to whom they are not married. At such fraught moments, the urge to confess, or reveal a secret, can be irresistible. Just a little dollop of truth, you think, and the situation will be resolved. It never happens like that. Jack Nicholson was right, we can’t handle the truth. One man’s clear-the-air revelation is another’s unwelcome meddling. They will probably know they have put on weight, or that they are drinking too much. They might even already suspect their partner is cheating. (In France they will presume it.) Nobody ever thanks you for airing their dirty laundry. Especially not if they say “thank you for telling me”.
