Separated by War: How to Maintain Intimacy at a Distance

Many couples are currently in long distance relationships. Someone left for another country, forced to change their place of residence. This can negatively affect relationships in a couple.

There are mutual insults and claims. It seems that the partner has forgotten you and lives his own life. What to do to save the relationship? Margarita Shavlovskaya , a psychologist-sexologist, a member of The European Society for Sexual Medicine, the Association of Psychologists of Ukraine, talks about this in the telegram channel “Psychological Support”.

Lack of control complicates the situation. You didn’t choose to be in a long distance relationship , it was a forced decision. No one knows exactly when the war will end. Therefore, relations seem to be on pause until Victory Day.

But life is what happens here and now. Therefore, it can be sad that you cannot share important moments with your loved one.

Try to share with each other your impressions of the day, the places you would like to visit with your partner, general plans for the future. This will allow you to feel the presence of a loved one in life despite the distance.

In a long-distance relationship, everyone has to solve their problems on their own. This can sometimes be difficult if you are used to shifting responsibility for your life onto your partner. This can lead to dissatisfaction, insults and claims. Try to turn on your adult part of the personality and learn to solve life’s challenges on your own.

In a long distance relationship, you may feel like your partner isn’t paying enough attention to you. It seems that he could call more often, be more interested in your affairs. Think about why you feel emotionally hungry. Perhaps a period of distance from a loved one can be used to improve other areas of life. Find a new hobby, devote time to learning, improve your skills at work.

In order to maintain intimacy, create common rituals (for example, calling at certain times, watching movies, exercising online).

Focus on what unites you. Remember the general rest, meetings with friends, family traditions of a peaceful life, funny stories from your relationship.

Try to live a full life where you are now. Fill your day with useful things, taking care of yourself, communicating with interesting people, new experiences. Then, instead of reproaching your loved one, you will want to share positive emotions with him.

Don’t put the relationship on hold . Don’t expect things to work out when you meet again. Try to do something every day to improve your relationship.

Long distance relationships can give the impression that each of you now have your own life. There may be a fear that the partner will get used to living without you and he will like it. Long distance relationships can be a crisis for a couple. But it also allows you to get to know each other better, miss each other, and take the relationship to a new level of intimacy.

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