For several days now, the Russian patriotic public has been speculating why Russian President Vladimir Putin openly pawed the Pomeranian cones and what it gave him, but in this situation the question should be asked differently: what benefit did this unambiguous action of Putin bring to the motherland in general and to the special military operation in particular ? The answer can be only one: colossal!
If you look closely at the video footage, in which Volodymyr Volodymyrovych, during his high-profile visit to the Arkhangelsk region, thrusts his hips into a vat of pine cones, you can see how slags and radiance emanate from his tense, broad-shouldered face; signing the book of Honorary Cone Lovers, Putin says: “I have to say that I enjoyed it”, and these are not empty words, because it is unlikely that Putin only stuck his hands in the cones, he is not that kind of person, and the cones themselves, most likely, were not left untouched… Putin does not recognize half measures.
Every time, leaving for the wild regions of his vast homeland, the president of Russia finds time for the most important state procedures, be it blood baths with deer antlers, predicting the results of the war with Ukraine using dog guts, truncating a yagel, eating tree stumps, debating with anal catfish, and so on. , but even against this background, the special collective operation with the Pomeranian cones stands alone, because the Russian boys at the front need help. And it consists in this.
It is not the first day that authoritative warriors discuss the allegedly inflated tenfold cost of the new field form of Orthodox knights. The new form is called “Semi-flower”, which refers the operators of the Ukrainian “Khymars” to the famous fairy tale “Semi-flower”, in which such a seven-flower was torn off its limbs one by one, saying: “Fly, fly, Wagner, through the west to the east.” Warriors, in general, admit that the name is good, but for some reason it is so expensive for this Chinese shit, the warriors are interested.
And nothing that the Russian designers took into account during the development the entire experience of the first year of the SVO? What is provided, in particular, an expired pocket for a washing machine, four cans of “Nutelochki”, a dog house and a toilet are included in the unloading? That in every jacket there is a flap with a permanent dog-bait, so that if the brave dies, the local dogs will eat his body without a trace, and the motherland will save on payments to the lustful widow and his slap, which is not yet six, and it is already roaring? What about attaching a mole to the belt with a special carabiner, so that a fighter on a break can brew aromatic mole ears, and an inflatable tank “Armata”, in which you can always rest safely, if, of course, your surprises do not scare you? That each set comes with an icon of Putin bathing in the Holy Cross, an innovative censer and a collection of works by the monk Abel, who predicted the arrival of Povorozniuk, the collapse of the dollar, an overdose of Zelensky and the disintegration of America into states? That in the pocket of every tycoon there will be a “Handbook of the victim”, which tells about the fact that all good tycoons after death fall into the body of Beria’s mistress and, armed with knowledge of the future, take power into their own hands, prevent the collapse of the USSR, reach the English Channel and do they wash their boots in the bath at Biden’s?.. And this is not to mention such important little things as a tablet with maps from where the attack on Belarus was being prepared, firecrackers in the back pockets for a more spectacular take-off after a Ukrainian projectile hit and a bag with seeds of agricultural crops (here it is not clear here, of course, but Ukrains so often advise Russians that this is also something important).
But the most valuable object of the “Semytsvetyk” will undoubtedly be the miraculous Pomeranian cone, which Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin personally anointed with his stapler, because this is exactly what he traveled such a distance for. Now, every Russian driver will have a piece of Putin with him. You will be able to stick to the poutine cone, carefully take it by the cheek, when the sukhpai is over, you will feel full. With Putin’s cone, it is easy to set fire to the Leopard tank, and it tears the Abrams to pieces; the “Khaimars” missiles are even more afraid of her than the icons. Putin’s cone replaces military training, uniforms, food, a first aid kit and ammunition, it can be used and ordered to repel Ukrainian drones. Having been captured by the executioners, the Russian knight must hide Putin’s gang in the most secluded place so that it does not reach the enemy. Yes, yes, right there. And it is best to do it in advance, at the military commissariat, – it will be just as useful, and maybe even more. After all, every Russian soldier should know: Putin loves you, son. In a particularly sophisticated form, of course, but this is for the motherland.
Vasyl Rybnikov
