Previously, we wrote about video game adaptations, for which their creators can at least not be ashamed, as well as about the most interesting future film adaptations. Now it’s time to look at the process from the opposite side and collect a dozen catastrophically failed projects that this world did not accept. They say that sometimes these movies are in the worst nightmares of both avid gamers and ordinary moviegoers.
In the history of relations between the film and game industries, there have already been many cases when tapes based on games caused great indignation on the part of the gaming community. Therefore, drop in the comments the names of works that simply did not fit into the article, but, in your opinion, should simply be on the board of shame.
Genre: in the world of exotic animals
Release date: 1993
IMDb rating: 4.1
“Super Mario Brothers” is the first attempt by cinematographers to transfer the characters of the famous game to the plane of the movie screen. But this is the case when it is appropriate to mention the expression “the first pancake with a lump”. The tape based on the cult game series from Nintendo was crushed by critics and failed at the box office, and the performer of the main role, Bob Hoskins, later admitted that he considered this work to be the worst of his career.
The film took almost nothing away from the game and instead offered the viewer some solid accumulation of pure delusion, as if the authors themselves were under the influence of mushrooms during the creative process. However, among many fans of Nintendo classics, this project has acquired a cult status.
By the way, a new animated film, which collected more than a billion dollars at the box office, recently managed to restore the damaged reputation of famous plumbers in the cinema. And they received her much more warmly.
Genre: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Release date: 1994
IMDb rating: 3.9
The adaptation of the famous beat ’em up game from the 80s about two martial arts brothers, Billy and Jimmy Lee, was in trouble. To hell with them, with worthless dialogues: after all, this is about martial arts, not vicissitudes in the spirit of Jane Austen. But it is simply impossible to forgive such inept staging of battle scenes in this nonsense.
It is doubly unfortunate that even a solid cast did not save the situation: here you have the real master of martial arts Mark Dacascos, and the still very young Alyssa Milano, and Robert T-1000 Patrick, who turned into the caricature villain Koga Shuko.
For many viewers, this film remained a pleasant memory from childhood. But he had no chance to avoid failure. The picture received devastating criticism and collected very little money at the box office, failing to even cover its already modest budget.
Genre: Van Damme in mini dresses
Release date: 1994
IMDb rating: 4.0
The action movie “Street Fighter” based on the cult fighting game of the same name from Capcom is coming along roughly the same rake. Moreover, the filmmakers put much more effort into this project than the creators of Double Dragon. The film has ten times the budget, action superstar Jean-Claude Van Damme in the frame and Kylie Minogue to boot. It even paid dividends, as the film earned almost $100 million at the box office.
But with audience and film critic reviews, everything is not so rosy. Few people liked this ridiculous parody with caricatured fools. The mad dictator Bison, played by Raúl Julia (one of the actor’s last works) and Blanca, looked especially strange here. The latter looked more like the hulking Hulk from the 70s series than a character from the game. Oh, Jean-Claude, you should have chosen the role of Johnny Cage.
Genre: a mixture of a bulldog and a rhinoceros
Release date: 1997
IMDb rating: 3.6
By the way, about Mortal Kombat. We cannot fail to mention the sequel to the successful “Mortal Battle” by Paul U.S. Anderson, based on the legendary fighting game. “Extermination”, the plot of which took a third of MK (1995) as a basis, is the cry and pain of fans of the game, because it is still necessary to manage to create such a terrible movie.
Everything is bad here – from ridiculous lines and costumes to a cluster of homemade special effects. And this despite the fact that the budget has increased significantly compared to the first part.
In general, the producers’ attempt to forge the iron while it’s still hot is quite understandable. After all, the creation of a hungry debutant and a fan of video games made Anderson realize that a film adaptation of a game requires some understanding of the material, but the result will be appropriate.
But Anderson himself quickly retired and five years later published the wonderful “Dweller of Evil”, and almost the entire cast of the original refused to participate in this miserable performance with him. It turned out to be fatal for the film franchise.
Genre: beautiful woman single
Release date: 2006
IMDb rating: 3.6
How can we not mention the craftsman with a capital letter Uwe Boll! The lion’s share of his filmography will attract a separate article. But we value our time and yours and will limit ourselves to only two opus released under the leadership of the great and terrible German. In the meantime, let’s remember that this gentleman discovered world film adaptations of such games as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Postal, Far Cry + two screen adaptations from our list.
The first is “Bloodrain”, based on the series of hack and slash games of the same name from the third person. There, a sexy red-haired dhampir named Raine smashed mutants, demons, zombie Nazis and other evil into vinaigrette, not forgetting to drain the blood from her victims. Ball, for some reason, wound up the clock in the era of the conventional Late Middle Ages and in general, it seems, was not very interested in the game’s original source.
What can I say, watching this movie is physically painful. The star of Kristanna Loken, who had previously distinguished herself with a significant role as the opponent of Arnie himself in the third “Terminator”, went out before it could catch fire. It is not known that a number of well-known and respected actors were forgotten in this total bad taste. The main character was supposed to be a beauty, like Kate Beckinsale in “Another World”, and as a result appeared before the audience as someone like a porn star cosplayer.
Genre: pillow fight
Release date: 2006
IMDb rating: 4.8
The series of fighting games Dead or Alive is another, along with BloodRayne, a product that does not hesitate to pay some attention to female breasts. But this is obviously not the main factor in the game’s success. In principle, the entire film adaptation is based on the aspect of the sexuality of the main characters. The fight between the characters of Holly Valens and Sarah Carter stands out here. The girls come out to fight in bikinis, for greater effect it pours from the sky like a bucket.
It makes no sense to talk about the production of the combat part of the scene, but the creators abuse the speed and use an almost forbidden technique: they shoot an ultra-wide-angle shot of the butt of one of the participants in the fight.
Yes, in 2006, for sure, someone could have liked it, because there is an attempt to at least imitate a fighting game with style (sometimes it really looks decent). But even then the critics were adamant, and in today’s tender times such performances would generally be considered bad tone.
In addition to the aforementioned beauties, Jamie Presley in short shorts, Devon Aoki from the second “The Fast and the Furious”, several useless male characters and Eric Roberts at maximum relaxation as a villain will be walking around in the frame. Compared to the same “Bloodrain” DOA looks almost like a masterpiece, but it’s still a bad ending, devoid of common sense.
Genre: a high-budget masquerade
Release date: 2007
IMDb rating: 3.8
And how about “epic fantasy” from Uwe Boll in the spirit, don’t burst out laughing, “Lord of the Rings”? Now this indefatigable filmmaker has mocked the famous action-RPG game Dungeon Siege. Before filming, Ball had a record 60 million budget (where the hell did you get it from!?), a team of far from the worst actors in Hollywood, an unwavering Jason Statham as the main star, a well-known original game and, of course, self-confidence .
What happened as a result? The audience was treated to an unforgettable, ridiculous scene of a sword battle between two magicians. It earned a pitiful $13 million at the box office. Critics traditionally destroyed the film. Ex-terminator Loken finally got bogged down in the swamp of nowhere cinema and never got out of there. Is it necessary to say that, as in the case of “Bloodrain”, the director expanded the universe here into a trilogy? It is not customary to mention these sequels in decent society.
Mr. Uwe, I hope you won’t challenge me to a boxing match. Believe me, the world would be so diverse without your creativity.
Genre: look at the barcode
Release date: 2015
IMDb rating: 5.7
Here we got to the more modern representatives of shameful film adaptations. “Hitman: Agent 47” is already the pain of all fans of the cult stealth action game Hitman, developed by the Danish IO Interactive.
The main character of the game series is a ruthless bald killer with the code name 47 and a barcode on the back of his head. He travels the world on various missions to eliminate well-guarded targets. Of course, getting to the victim inconspicuously and solving everything with one shot, or even with the help of a shmorg, will be much cooler than openly advancing through the squads of solidly armed guards. And now it’s nice to wet the Russian generals.
However, to say that this is an extremely unsuccessful product based on a cool series of games is an understatement. The tape turned out to be just an awkward mindless action movie that has little in common with the original source. And this despite the fact that the creators were unable to work on the mistakes after the depressingly helpless version of 2007 with Timothy Olyphant. But even she looks better than this senseless mockery.
Genre: Spanish Inquisition
Release date: 2016, in Ukraine – 2017
IMDb rating: 5,6
Cinematic Assassin’s Creed is already a bird of a slightly higher flight, so the requirements for it are appropriate. The studio seemed to take the adaptation of Ubisoft’s popular open-world action-adventure seriously. The studio bosses were not afraid to allocate a $125 million budget, which allowed them to invite first-class actors and turn around in terms of special effects.
The film based on the game series of the same name became a full-fledged blockbuster with a loud poster. But something obviously went wrong with the creators. First, both fans of the game and viewers who had never held a gamepad in their hands spat at the exit from the cinemas. Secondly, the critics were also not happy and gave the tape a disappointing verdict. Thirdly, the box office left much to be desired, so the film franchise did not work out of it.
The trouble is that a lot here seems gray, mediocre and completely faceless, and the authors seem to have no desire to take into account the most successful aspects of the game. For example, delving into the historical era is given criminally little time here. On the positive side, the improved Animus machine.
Genre: the torments of hell
Release date: 2019
IMDb rating: 3.8
If the authors of the above-mentioned films had no idea how to convert the advantages of the game into something passable within the limits of the movie screen, or were simply Uwe Boll, then the creators of the opus “Doom: Annihilation” deliberately instilled low-quality filth into the viewer. This project, from its very conception, is an open parasite on the legendary game brand, for which it deserves a good bream more than others.
Yes, everyone remembers the not-so-successful adaptation of the big game with Dwayne Johnson, but at least it had some really cool moments. Annihilation is not even close, offering a purely low-budget product that no one needs without the slightest ambition to please the audience. One fan service won’t get you far, will you? The legendary series of first-person shooters does not deserve such mockery of itself.
