In a twist on the tale, the Tories seemed to have woken up to reality – that lockdown destroys the economy and health – whereas the opposition benches are still stuck in Oz. The Government’s plan is reckless, said Caroline Lucas (no courage); the Prime Minister is taking a gamble, said Hilary Benn (no heart); he is undermining Scotland, said Ian Blackford (no brain).

A sensible complaint was raised by Ed Davey, namely that with free testing gone, carers who do not want to pass anything onto their charges might have to pay big bucks to find out if they are infectious – but by labelling this a “tax on caring”, Davey ruined his case. Free tests are not free. They are paid for by the taxpayer, so they are a tax on everyone.

The most intelligent point, by far, was made by Sammy Wilson of the DUP, who asked what can be done to “nudge” a frightened public back to freedom – a question I had put in my column that very morning, and I felt a surge of relevance and pride.

Until the PM replied: “Set an example, go back to work!” – and suddenly I realised the good times were over. For two years I’ve had an excuse to do my job from home, usually in bed, and now I’ll have to start brushing my teeth and going to the office. Hoist with my own libertarian petard.

Those weren’t Chris Whitty’s feet sticking out from underneath No 10 in sparkly red heels, they were my own.