As any fool knows, but obviously not crosspatchy Prince Harry and his Missus, the secret to good comedy is – TIMING! Just as the key to great headlines is – RHYMING!
It’s a big thing here in Britain; the tabloids in particular love a clever cadence. Throw in a cheeky reference to the monarchy and it’s guaranteed to be a right royal knockout. Of course some of the wordplay has been downright scurrilous; The Duchess of Pork and Waity Katey weren’t the kindest of epithets.
Then there was No Sweat and No Regret to describe Prince Andrew’s bizarre “medical” alibi given during his excruciating Newsnight sex allegation interview. I could cite any other number of instances; when The Sun published that notorious photo of Harry playing naked pool in Vegas it was accompanied by the classic “Heir It Is” (tee hee) and his father, Prince Charles was more recently lambasted for various eco-infractions with the inspired phrase Carbon Footprince (quite clever actually).
However near-to-the-knuckle, our knockabout waggery has been part and parcel of public life since Pope, Swift and Hogarth first drew gasps for their sheer audaciousness. But sometimes headlines really are simply just-a-bit-of-fun; like that snap of dazzling bride-to-be Meghan Markle’s megawatt smile accompanied by the joyous, jaunty “I’m getting Harryed in the Morning” or Megxit to describe the couple’s departure from these shores. A classic neologism that, crucially, rhymes with Brexit.
I’m not sure there was anything more to it. In fact I’m pretty positive there wasn’t. But Harry’s already failing sense of humour has chosen this hill to die upon by insisting the very word is “misogynistic”. And now the BBC has allegedly changed it to “Sussexit”.
Snappy it ain’t. Quite the opposite. But that’s what happens when playful versification is yoked to po-faced diversification. There are so many major wrongs to right on this planet I’m bewildered by the sheer tone deaf solipsism being demonstrated by two such privileged people.
The trigger this time is the documentary The Princes and the Press, the second part of which is broadcast on Monday night. Last week’s opener was an eye-opener for members of the public who had no idea (how could they?) of the ways in which the media are privately briefed by “sources” from the various royal family households.
Monday night’s episode will focus on the years 2018-21 and was originally going to be called “Megxit”, a term which has entered popular parlance. Not in the Santa Barbara celebrity enclave of Montecito, where Harry and Meghan live in a £12 million mansion it hasn’t. Now it has been renamed Sussexit.
I expect the Sussexes feel they’ve won the battle. If so (and the jury’s out) theirs is a phyrric victory that speaks volumes about their concerns and motivations. Misogyny is a hugely serious, desperately urgent issue. It is why the women and girls of Afghanistan are being denied universal human rights. Why our female MPS are bullied and threatened on a daily basis. Why some of us would rather stop a bus driver than turn to a policeman for help.
Shrill arguments and peevish complaints over “Megxit” undermine the ongoing battle for justice, something this giddily high-net worth pair are constantly banging on about.
They have a voice. They have a philanthropic foundation, Archewell. They have an eye-watering contract with Netflix to make themselves heard on subjects that matter. Using their platform to settle personal scores is not a good look. Or indeed, I’d argue, a good idea. Their determination to call out every perceived slight as “sexist” bespeaks a toe-curling self-importance that might play well with their multimillionaire Hollywood chums across the pond but here at home we’re less in thrall to A listers. Healthy scepticism and a tongue-in-cheek disregard is one of the defining features of British culture.
The BBC may have felt they had to ditch Megxit. The rest of us will Sussexit and see.
