Crisis situations are always a challenge for relationships, and now couples are divided into those that have become closer to each other, even if they are separated by distance, and those that have begun to move away and quarrel more often. Psychologist Marina Ivanova told in her blog what can be recommended to both couples in these difficult times.

Of course, everyone’s situations are different, but there is something that can be safely recommended to all couples – this is the rule of communication through “I-messages” that begin with the words “me, me, me.” It is universal and consists in talking only about yourself and your feelings. Thus, we avoid ways to blame the interlocutor, and therefore we have a chance for a constructive conversation.

The construction of the “I-message” is simple:

1. Tell me how you feel (I feel annoyed/frustrated/angry)
2. State the facts (when you are late/forget an important date)
3. Explain (because I feel unimportant, unnoticed)
4. Tell me about the need (I would like if you warned me that you are late / that you congratulate me with flowers on your anniversary, can we put a reminder on your calendar?)

This technique is very simple and allows you to get closer to each other, talk through the problem and solve it. Very often people choose to remain silent and hope that the partner will guess their opinions and somehow solve everything, but this only leads to the fact that you are left with the problem yourself. Because our partners can’t read opinions, and neither can we.

Read also: