But traumatic memories remain in the mind and can provoke feelings of anxiety and depressive states even many years later. Margarita Shavlovskaya, a psychologist-sexologist, a member of The European Society for Sexual Medicine, the Association of Psychologists of Ukraine, told the Psychological Support telegram channel what can happen to a person after the incident.

Not being able to share your feelings and respond to trauma can cause symptoms of PTSD:

• night terrors
• flashbacks
• insomnia
• concentration problems
• panic

Survivors of violence cannot quickly start trusting someone again. Therefore, they are in no hurry to share their story with specialists or relatives.

In addition, there is a fear that a loved one will be disappointed and will never feel the same way again if he finds out about the rape. But the experience of sexual trauma affects all areas of life, including intimate relationships .

The loss of a sense of connection with the body, the habit of “freezing” one’s feelings, the inability to experience pain or pleasure are protective reactions that helped to survive during the rape.

But in the future, they can cause difficulties in intimate life due to the lack of pleasure during intimacy with a partner.

People who have been abused are often afraid to feel something again, their own body becomes the enemy and the cause of suffering. Therefore, survivors learn to ignore their own feelings.

The partner may feel devalued, rejected, and objective.

Sometimes victims of abuse may try to regain control of the situation through compulsive sexual behavior and promiscuity. This can lead to sex addiction. The emotional component of sexual intimacy is lost, they do not allow themselves to feel.

Some people are not interested in sexual activity at all after being raped. Own arousal can be associated with feelings of guilt, disgust, anger and shame.

Therefore, survivors of violence block the feeling of arousal and refuse to think about sex at all. They may also avoid intimacy due to uncontrollable reactions (tears, numbness, panic).

As a result of rape, sexual disorders such as vaginismus and dyspareunia can occur in women, caused by a subconscious desire to protect themselves and avoid sexual intimacy.

The experience of violence affects not only the victim, but also the couple. Partners of rape survivors may also be depressed, anxious, and emotionally distressed.

Even after a traumatic experience like rape, you can return to your normal life and enjoy an intimate life with your loved one. But it is better not to expect that the consequences of violence “will pass by themselves”, but to seek help from a professional and work in both individual and family therapy.

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