How not to get depressed because of the loss of earnings and how to set yourself up to start something new? Let’s talk with psychoanalyst Anna Kushneruk .

Our stability in instability: why now you need to grab any job

In addition to the real burning from the events of the war, we are also experiencing an identity crisis. Work for a person is not only a state, but also the viability of his family. Work is the space where a person feels confident, here he is in demand, feels his place, gratitude, support. With the loss of a job, a person loses not only financial support, but also moral. People lose a sense of security and confidence in the future. Work sets the rhythm of life: we have to wake up, go somewhere, meet certain deadlines. But when a person loses his job, a crisis sets in. A person is no longer sure whether he needs to get up, because no one needs his efforts. We begin to devalue ourselves as a member of society.

There is a temptation to hide behind accusations of myself and the world like “why didn’t I save money”, “why didn’t anyone warn me”, “who needs me now with my education”. But this is the wrong way. You need to ask questions about the possibility of working for yourself. The job does not have to be qualified. You need to lower your expectations about work. It should bring some financial inflow. You need to set yourself up for the fact that making money, even if it is quite hard, is a pleasure.

There is always work. Someone will always seek help with children, someone needs help in caring for elderly relatives. No need to be afraid of work not in the specialty. You need to set yourself up for the fact that any work is now necessary, you need to enrich society with your contribution and enrich yourself too.

Although it is impossible not to look at what you have lost. Because this is where the real grief begins. The impossibility for a person to live a familiar life: dress up well and go to the office, meet the material needs of the family in the usual amount. Many people who were financial leaders in family relationships and because of this required special treatment now have to just be a good person, this also requires a certain flexibility.

Is it in place now for our dreams of self-realization in another area?

Many people around the world work for years and decades in a job they don’t like: “Yes, the job is great, but it’s not what I dreamed of.” Of course, one cannot say that war provides new opportunities, because it is very easy to go through all this emotionally. But since absolutely everyone is losing both career and financially right now, you can also afford to choose some easier job. This is especially true for office workers, who were always in conditions that, perhaps, did not suit them and dreamed of another job. Now they, in the absence of their usual work, have the opportunity to try themselves in something else.

The most uncomfortable now is for people who worked in the provision of services that are not a matter of prime necessity. It takes time to restore this area. Therefore, they should make an inventory of their skills and abilities. If your job was, for example, in the field of information services, then you may need to try to do something with your hands. Now there is more need for this.

Who is easier to readjust and accept the situation

It is easier for women to adapt to new conditions. They are more adaptive, it is easier for them to accept a lower qualification job. Men are usually guided by a different strategy, they do not agree less, they wait for their chance and plan, after receiving it, to compensate the family for the downtime. In family relationships, now is not the time to measure the amount earned and compare. You have to believe in yourself and work hard no matter what.

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