Dear Prue,

I’m worried that I’m going to be promoted at work. Usually, promotion would obviously be a good thing, but in this case it would involve me moving into a small office with a ­particular colleague. She’s really nice as a person and I’d be very happy to work with her, but she wears the most cloying perfume. At meetings and work social events I avoid sitting near her because the smell actually gives me a headache.

I’d like to take the new role, and Lord knows we could do with the extra money, but I know I wouldn’t last even half a day sharing a confined space with her. Can I train myself to bear it? Is there any way I can talk to her about it without seeming rude or unkind?

– John, via email

Dear John,

AI’m afraid you have to man up and tell her. You’ll be doing her a kindness: she needs to know. You won’t be the only one who hates the smell of her perfume. In fact, it is extraordinarily insensitive of her to wear great dollops of the stuff.

Scent, as my mother called it, should be very subtle, only sniffable at kissing distance, and never from a yard away. Too much of it is an invasion of other people’s space. Wine merchants often request no one wears any at tastings, because it interferes with the aromas they are trying to analyse.

In my youth, half the young men I knew plastered themselves with Old Spice, a scent so cloying it positively kept the girls at bay. Your colleague might find she’s altogether more popular once she drops her ­so-called fragrance.

I think you should accept the job and then tackle her. If she doesn’t agree to tone down the stink, you might have to rescind your acceptance, or ask your boss if you can work somewhere else, even at home, and explain the reason why.

Maybe a white lie will help. Say or email something like this to her: “I do hope this won’t offend you, and I’m really sorry to be so personal, but I’m seriously allergic to almost all brands of perfume and the one you wear affects me badly. I feel I can’t breathe and I get a crashing headache.

“It’s a horrible dilemma: I really want to accept this promotion and would love to work more closely with you, but I just can’t handle the confined space we would have to share. Would it be possible, do you think, to not wear perfume at work? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m hopeful you will understand, and forgive the intrusion. Can we talk?”

That should do the trick – unless she reads The Telegraph and rumbles that I put you up to it.

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