After I graduated, I joined the company and I’ve been with the English National Ballet ever since. As a child, I had The Nutcracker on video and used to watch it over and over again, so it was a dream come true when I debuted as the Sugar Plum Fairy three years later.
We do The Nutcracker every Christmas and I’ve only missed one production during my 25 years with the company: when I was eight months pregnant. I still went to the theatre every day to train, despite my big belly.
Over the years I’ve done three different versions of the ballet and each sits in my body somewhere because we perform so many times. I think I dance it in my sleep. The Sugar Plum Fairy’s solo in act two – to Tchaikovsky’s famous music – is the most difficult sequence: you have to appear feminine and beautiful without showing the audience how strenuous it is. Whatever age you are, there are nerves, but it’s good to have nerves.
I’m 43 now and not as flexible as when I was young, but I think I put more feeling into my roles. Dancers are performing for longer because better sports science helps us care for our bodies, but there aren’t many of us over 40. I’m taking it day by day, especially since the pandemic, and being back in the studio is such a joy.
My husband James is a first soloist in the company and we danced at home together when the studio was closed. For the first time in the English National Ballet’s 71-year history, we had to cancel The Nutcracker last Christmas due to lockdown.
My four-year-old son Archie hasn’t started ballet classes yet, but he loves The Nutcracker. If he wants to follow in our footsteps I’ll support him, but I won’t push him into it because I know how hard this job is.
As told to Claire Webb
