Opening the show, Sirieix formed a frisky French-Australian pairing with pro Dianne Buswell. With hair dyed red to match his partner’s, he dressed as an undignified turkey and flew down from the ceiling for his frothy quickstep. He proved the best of a bad male bunch. Blades’s Only Fools and Horses jive was great fun but flat-footed and swamped by the wheeler-dealing theme. Jubbly but not lovely.

Even worse was Chiles, whose American smooth was so lumpen and lumbering, it recalled the dark days of John Sergeant. For her first celebrity partner, poor new pro Jowita Przystal was saddled with a Christmas donkey. His teenage daughters apparently counselled Chiles against taking part. Perhaps he should have listened. “That snowman had more personality, darling,” said Revel Horwood, nodding at a plastic prop.

Much more accomplished on that front was 72-year-old Stuart, who gamely requested a salsa. She moved, grooved and unleashed her hips alongside pro Aljaž Škorjanec. “The man’s a hunk,” she twinkled. Stuart even managed to make a Mrs Santa outfit look chic. “For 15 years, I’ve been begging you to do this show with me,” joked judge Anton Du Beke. “I turn my back and you’re on with a younger, firmer model. I’m furious.”