Well, sort of. As heir-to-the-estate Arthur said: “‘We’ve been here longer than the f______ monarchy. If anyone tries to judge me for being in this amazing position, frankly they can f___ off.” Perhaps unsurprisingly, he’d been expelled from £30,000-a-year Sherborne school for bad behaviour.
Great Fulford now relied on guided tours, wedding bookings, pheasant shoots and photoshoots for income. The Fulford Jnrs flogged antiques at a car boot sale but were so rubbish at it, they only made a few quid. Matilda got so stressed by the experience, she called an ambulance.
They fired air rifles from windows and hit golf balls at grazing cows. Matilda roller-skated around the Great Hall, like Princess Diana in The Crown. A large Muscovy duck called Ben roamed the corridors, leaving a trail of droppings behind him.
In 2016, Arthur was charged with drink-driving and resisting arrest after flipping his father’s Ford Focus on a country lane. The 24-year-old insisted he wasn’t over the limit after sinking five pints at a local pub. He lost his appeal and was slapped with a 12-month ban. Even his own lawyer said Arthur’s evidence was “all over the place” and “a bit of a pantomime”.
The following year, he tried to extend his 15 minutes of fame by signing up for reality franchise Big Brother. Arthur entered the house hoping to “have a really good time” but duly got into rows about the benefits system and whether the earth is flat. He vandalised a mannequin while drunk on champagne, took a naked shower in front of his housemates, then quit after six days, branding them “f_____g stupid”. Talk about a chip off the old block.
His father Francis, now 69, remains as opinionated as ever. The latest entries on his blog defend Prince Andrew, call civil servant Sir Philip Rutnam “a big girl’s blouse” for accusing Priti Patel of bullying, and slam Londoners as “wet” for “putting up with the ridiculous Extinction Rebellion protesters” when they should “sort these prima donna idiots out”.
Ah, Francis Fulford. Don’t go f_____g changing.
