BBC Four, 9pm and 9.50pm
One of the Irish republic’s more imaginative laws allows the state, via the police force’s Criminal Assets Bureau, to seize property (everything from houses to cars and jewellery) and bank accounts belonging to suspected criminals; if the owners can’t show how they came by their wealth legally, it’s forfeited to the national purse. That’s the key background fact to this thrilling new crime drama from broadcaster RTÉ (directed by Thaddeus O’Sullivan) that flits from Ireland to Belgium and beyond, following a raid on a known drug-dealer’s house in Limerick led by detective Emer Berry (Angeline Ball) and her motley CAB crew.
When the trail leads them well beyond her jurisdiction to Antwerp, Berry’s enquiries begin to intertwine with grizzled Belgian detective Christian De Jong’s (Wouter Hendrickx) investigation into a deadly local terrorism incident and the two have no choice but to work together. But what’s the link between a suicide bomber and an Irish drugs gang, and how is Cork woman Bibi Melnick’s (Simone Kirby) Antwerp-based chandlery business involved? Tonight’s tangled opening double bill gets this gritty slice of Hiberno-Belgian noir off to a great start. GO
Cricket: The Ashes: Fifth Test
BT Sport 1, 3am
Early birds (and England-supporting masochists) can catch the second day of the fifth and (mercifully) final Test of the 2022 Ashes, which is a day/nighter from Hobart, Tasmania. Don’t call it a dead rubber, however – England don’t have just pride to play for but ICC World Test Championship points too. England are currently languishing at the bottom of the 2021-23 World Test Championship table. Could this also be Joe Root’s final Test as England captain? Australia lead the series 3-0.
Football: Man City v Chelsea
BT Sport 1, 11.30am
Another jam-packed week of football begins with a top-of-the-table clash in the Premier League. With City already 10 points clear, Chelsea simply have to win (kick-off 12.30pm). Tomorrow, Tottenham Hotspur host Arsenal (Sky Main Event, 4pm) in the 205th North London Derby. If you’re looking for pointers – the away side has won only once in the league since 2010. The League Cup semi-finals come to a conclusion at the Emirates on Thursday, as Arsenal take on Liverpool in their second leg (Sky Main Event, 7pm). And the Africa Cup of Nations continues, with the final group games beginning on Monday, with hosts Cameroon v Cape Verde (Sky Main Event, 4pm) and Burkina Faso v Ethiopia (Sky Premier League, 4pm). Keep an eye on Gabon v Morocco (Tue, Sky Premier League, 7pm) and Ivory Coast v Algeria (Thu, Sky Football, 4pm).
Rugby union: Wasps v Toulouse
BT Sport 2, 12.30pm
A fantastic weekend of European Champions Cup rugby begins at the Ricoh Arena, as the two-times winners host the reigning champions (kick-off 1pm). Connacht v Leicester (BT Sport 2, 3pm) and Clermont v Sale (Sun, BT Sport 2, 5.15pm) won’t be too shabby either.
Netball: 2022 Quad Series
Sky Arena, 1.45pm
London’s Copper Box Arena hosts the annual tournament between England, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, which begins today with the hosts against the Proteas. The past three editions of the Quad Series have ended identically – Australia winners, England runners-up, New Zealand third and South Africa fourth. Can the Red Roses change the record?
The Masked Singer
Take it off! Take it off! Prepare for more jaw-dropping performances, gleeful crowd-chanting and, most of all, gormless guesswork from judges Mo Gilligan, Davina McCall, Rita Ora and Jonathan Ross, as the addictive quest to unveil the secret singers continues in this just-as-thrilling third series.
The World’s Most Expensive Hotels
Channel 5, 7.30pm
More ogle-candy than exploration of inequality, this documentary looks at one of Hollywood’s most famous haunts. Right at the heart of Beverly Hills, the Beverly Hilton, since it opened in 1955, has been synonymous with Hollywood (it’s the home of the Golden Globes) and the legions of A-list stars who have wined, dined and stayed there. This edition unveils how the recent sumptuous renovation brought the hotel into the 21st century, ready for a new generation of stars.
Ant & Dec’s Limitless Win
Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly prove their presenting chops again, bringing out the best in their contestants as the money ladder climbs, climbs and crashes in the only game show on TV where, potentially, there’s no limit on how much money can be won.
Secrets of the Royal Palaces
Channel 5, 8.30pm
The hidden meanings and subtle symbolism of Prince Philip’s funeral procession at Windsor Castle are explored in this episode, as well as how King William III used Hampton Court Palace to cock a snook at Louis XVI, and how Queen Caroline’s dodgy doctors butchered the monarch to death.
BBC One, 9.30pm
The series is famous for its elaborate scene-setting accidents, and this week’s is a corker, as comedian Rosie Jones makes a dramatic return to her role as the admirably stroppy patient, Paula. Meanwhile, new doctor Paige (Shalisha James-Davis) struggles with a second attempt to make a good first impression on her fellow medics at Holby City.
Posh Weekends with Sally Lindsay
Channel 5, 9.30pm
This week, Sally Lindsay explores the splendid Scone Palace, traditional crowning place of Scottish kings, a 125-room gothic pile set in 19,000 acres of prime Perthshire land. Waiting on the doorstep are hosts Lady Mansfield and William, Viscount of Stormont, who invite her to enjoy all the local sports: fly-fishing, deer-spotting and – joy! – dinner with the Earl.
Yuli: The Carlos Acosta Story (2018) ★★★★
BBC Two, 10pm
Based on Acosta’s 2007 autobiography, Icíar Bollaín’s handsomely made documentary biography tells the story of Acosta’s journey from the wrong side of the tracks in Cuba to the first black guest dancer for the Royal Ballet. Edison Manuel Olvera and Keyvin Martínez charmingly play the young dancer, while the man himself dons his pumps for scenes in his later career. It’s an inspiring story, swooningly told.
Rush Hour 2 (2001) ★★★
The second outing for Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan’s crime-fighting comedy duo isn’t as fresh as the first, even if Chan brings his usual charm and exuberance, but it’s still switch-your-brain-off fun. Los Angeles police detectives Lee (Chan) and James Carter (Tucker) are in Hong Kong when terrorists bomb the US Embassy. Lee thinks that cunning Triad chief Ricky Tan and his henchwoman Hu Li (Zhang Ziyi) are the likely suspects.
The Take (2016) ★★★
Channel 4, 11.50pm
Idris Elba coasts through on the growly charisma he displayed in Luther in this by-the-numbers action flick. Elba plays maverick CIA agent Sean Briar who, to the surprise of nobody except his superiors, goes off the rails while hunting a terrorist bomber in Paris. There, he runs into Richard Madden’s whimpy pickpocket who was caught up in the attack. Their odd-couple shtick just about carries the sketchy plot and smashy action.