Dear Richard,
A year ago, I sold my house and moved in with my daughter and her family, with a plan to buy my own place nearby. (They live in a rural area, while I come from a large town.) I haven’t found anything suitable: staircases are too steep, the layout is too higgledy-piggledy. It’s all very picturesque but not right for me at my age. So I am thinking of moving back to where I lived, an hour’s drive away: I have friends there and all the conveniences of town living. However, after the expenses of moving and a gift I made to my daughter, and given the state of the market, I’d have to downsize significantly.
Now I feel utterly confused: I do want to be near to my family, but living under their roof has been a strain for all of us. Should I keep waiting until the right property becomes available here or move back to town?
– Maura, Gloucestershire
Dear Maura,
Tricky one, this. I sympathise with your dilemma, but are your options as stark as you describe? You make your new environment sound like The Shire, or Hobbit Land! However quaint and rural it may be, I find it hard to believe that every potential home on the market has Bilbo Baggins-like twisting staircases, crooked passageways and zigzag rooms.
You only upped sticks a year ago, Maura, and that’s not long at all when it comes to house-hunting. Clearly you’re feeling under pressure because things at your daughter’s are more tense than you expected and, as you say, there’s a sense of strain. Understandably, you feel your hand is being forced.
But it’s spring now and the housing market is picking up. My advice is to do your level best to rub along with your family for at least the next few months and keep looking for a place to buy nearby. If by next winter you still haven’t found somewhere suitable, then that might be the time to consider moving back to town and your old friends, even if it means downsizing.
But don’t lose heart just yet. There’s every chance this project can still turn out well. Keep your nerve, and your patience. Chin up!
