This is a psychological phenomenon, according to which a person constantly worries about the past or the future. He cannot live in the here and now. A person who is waiting for the end of the war is worried about the future, which does not have a specific date for its onset. Medical psychologist and trauma therapist Oksana Stepanyuk tells in the telegram channel “Psychological support” what it is and what to do about it.

Often the basis of such behavior is childhood. A person was praised only for achievements: “You can only rest after the work done.

A similar situation: “You can return to your normal life only after the end of the war.” Such people often suffer from depression , because they do not know how to enjoy just like that.

If you understand that you are prone to such a syndrome, ask yourself: “Do I want to give my life to the enemy? After all, if I do not live, then he has already defeated me. That is, I independently included myself in combat losses.”

Often after this, people seem to wake up and realize that they do not want to seem like an enemy and give their lives to him. However, if a person had a psychological trauma before the war , then the new reality will only aggravate this wound. Therefore, you should recognize this in a timely manner and seek psychological help.

Now consider the conditional situations

“I want to continue living, but my relatives do not understand me and condemn me”

An affordable way to deal with aggression is to condemn the person next to you. A person prone to guilt will go along with the accusations. This will lead to a deterioration in his psychological state.

You must be prepared that loved ones may react negatively to your transformations. After all, they did not order changes in their lives, they were fine anyway. This is their picture of the world, which has nothing to do with yours.

Algorithm of actions in a similar situation:

• If possible, reduce communication with this person.
• If not, then imagine that you are in a cocoon. All words flying in your direction bounce off its surface.
• Praise yourself for what you did today.
• Talk to someone who will support you in this situation.
• Don’t prove your views to this person, but point out your boundaries. Say, “I don’t like it when you talk to me like that. Please don’t do that again” or “I’m not ready to have this conversation right now.”

This man just needs to make someone guilty. So she takes the blame off herself. It can also be a toxic relationship that was long before the war.

“I am safe, but I am confused and apathetic. I don’t know how to come back to life”

Usually, such people had a goal to leave the territory where active hostilities are taking place. Further, the time line is not thought out. We moved to a safe place, what’s next? Confusion because there is no next goal.

Your main task is to rebuild the time line. This is usually done with the support of a psychologist.

For example, he asks to remember how a person brushed his teeth a week, a month and a year ago. Then – as it did today and will do tomorrow. So the chronology of actions is collected.

The next step is planning. First, try to set a goal for the next half hour. Then another hour.

However, do not expect from yourself a clear understanding of what and when to do. But moving is stressful, and sudden moving is double stress. Therefore, first replenish your strength and plan for the near future, then restore your life, social, personal and professional spheres in new conditions.

“After moving, I don’t want to leave the house. Now is not the time. I will live on when the war is over.”

Almost two months have passed. During this time, people were divided into three categories:

• With a resource psyche without complex injuries. They have the power to prolong life even in spite of the war.
• Stuck in the intermediate phase. They seem to want to prolong life, but something constantly stops them and takes them back a few steps. They also have a strong sense of guilt .
• People who remained in the same state as on the first day of the war. Usually they react aggressively to the desire of others to live on. They stay awake, do not eat, constantly read the news and forbid themselves any pleasure.

The problem of the latter may be not only in the internal desire, but also in the disruption of the work of brain neurotransmitters. Therefore, you should contact your family doctor or therapist in a timely manner.

With the help of a questionnaire, the doctor can diagnose the problem and refer to a neurologist or psychiatrist. Specialists will prescribe special medications. Without them, the risk of PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorders increases.

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