Serious Sam 4 is the first numbered version of the adrenaline shooter about Serious Sam running backwards since 2011. Not a spin-off, not a remake, not a demake (Google it!), not a VR adaptation, not even an idle RPG on the theme. Full, big Serious Sam. But was the wait worth what Croteam ended up with? Let’s figure it out.

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Kamikaze is not a problem. Kamikaze is a walking opportunity!
Cool Sam

I will save the most impatient five minutes and transfer the conclusions to the beginning of the article. Serious Sam 4 is not the best, but not the worst part of Serious Sam’s adventures. She is… average. In many ways. And this is really sad.

At first glance, Serious Sam 4 seems to be in perfect order and all the components that brought recognition to the original game in 2001 are in place. There are huge levels. There are crowds of monsters. Running backwards – yes. There are tons of secrets and jokes for your own. Eclectic design and a rudimentary storyline – yes. Cool Sam, capable of issuing vanliners (again, Google will help you) even over the bodies of just dead comrades – there is. What else do you need?

Simply put, we need the respect of the authors. Banal attention to their own product, which Croteam, which seemed to have proved its ability to release games brought to mind with the very first Serious Sam and reaffirmed this with The Talos Principle , was clearly not enough this time. Serious Sam 4 should be sent for revision for another year. Tighten up the graphics, put the optimization back in place, do something with animation and people models, sort out the levels. Because in some places the new, serious Serious Sam looks more like a modification assembled on the knee by the fan community than an AA product of a respected studio with a 28-year history.

Let’s start with graphics. Yes, Serious Sam games have never been among the shooters that utilize all the capabilities of the latest generation of video cards. And the visual style of the game, especially the second part, which still causes fierce debate among fans, has never been realistic. But honestly, looking like Serious Sam 4 looks like in 2020 is simply indecent. These are the graphics of 2015, and in some places even 2012. And if you can still put up with unclear textures and a small number of environment polygons, then the character models, their dead pale faces with bulging empty eyes … This is simply disrespect for users, especially considering that in the game full of cutscenes on the engine, where Sam and secondary characters “communicate” by rolling their bulging eyes. Is this some kind of humor, Croteam?

The animation is no better. Characters walk like robots, often putting their hands in the default position set in 3D editors, the so-called T-pose. When dying, humanoid opponents fall to the ground in exactly the same T-pose, so it is recommended to reduce the number of corpses remaining after the battle. Moreover, the game cannot boast of optimization.

And this is actually very ironic. Serious Sam, which captivated players in 2001 with a fantastic optimization of the engine that coped with huge levels and hundreds of monsters on quite modest PC configurations, in 2020 slows down like Microsoft Flight Simulator at Ultra settings. Delayed loading of textures, performance sagging, generally low fps. We did not expect this from Serious Sam 4, especially with the current schedule.

Another sore point of the game is the level design. There are three locations in Serious Sam 4 – Italy, France and Russia, and all of them are done carelessly. Italy, according to the designers of Croteam, is almost entirely made up of ruins, turning into other ruins. Ruins of the same type, with repetitive models, so banal that after twenty minutes of playing it seems that you are constantly running in circles. Moreover, the design of missions, and especially side quests, makes you run in circles. The only location that looks like a real one is Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome and the park around it. Everything else is a hodgepodge of dull images. How, pray tell, did Croteam turn one of the most beautiful cities on Earth into this?

Things are no better in France. It’s… just empty. There are very large levels here, sometimes between targets really from 5-6 kilometers, filled with … emptiness. Seriously, there is practically nothing here, except for clearings fenced with impenetrable bushes and crowds of monsters. In one of the side missions, you will have to stomp 3 kilometers (this is not a joke) in one direction, and then drive them back on a tractor. At the same time, there will not even be monsters on the way back. The reward is a very cool rocket launcher with homing jet saws that literally cut through crowds of opponents. Yes, it was worth it, but the campaign for missiles itself is mortal boredom, not at all what you expect from an adrenaline shooter.

The third location is Russia, just incredibly boring. There is nothing at all here except an oil platform in the ice and a hike through the empty tundra to the site of the final battle. Grey, dank and lullingly boring. Yes, the big fight at the end is not bad (actually it’s a decoration, the opponents are only a dozen large monsters), as is the rather original final battle itself, but by the time you get to it … try not to die of boredom.

Yes, the levels in Serious Sam 4 are really big, some, especially France, could become an open world in some game in 2015. But these levels are done carelessly. Serious Sam has always had a lot of hiding places and secrets, sometimes really cool ones, worth the time spent searching for them. They are also in Serious Sam 4. So, the search for these secrets can lead you into such jungles of the level, where it will become clear that some dropout student placed the objects here, and in a wild hurry. Inconsistency in the size of rooms and furniture, stairs to nowhere, repeating patterns, lack of textures and lighting. Is this a hack or some subtle humor, Croteam? Sorry, sometimes it’s really hard to understand.

What’s still good about Serious Sam 4 is the shooting. Grinding hundreds of monsters from a double gatling (here you can take heavy weapons, and different weapons, in each hand and shoot them separately!), portable black hole, automatic shotgun, sniper shotgun, energy gun, grenade launcher. Using a rather large arsenal while dodging monsters is still fun. Moreover, the canonical headless kamikaze (this is AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! never forget), the one-eyed gnaars, the Sirian werewolves, biomechanoids and favorites of the public, the bone clears, who have again become awkward and ridiculous, are back in business.

In general, the Serious Sam 4 bestiary is a hodgepodge of monsters from all series. Considering that SS4 is a prequel to Serious Sam: The First Encounter, this is a bit odd (yes, Croteam made a prequel again, although there is a hint in the post-credits scene that the next part will already be a sequel). So, everything went into business. Monsters from The First Encounter, monsters from The Second Encounter, monsters from BFE and never released DOOM by Croteam. Some opponents were remade, for example, the witches of Ahriman and the Scythian harpies, plus a few new ones were added to them, among which … the classic, in the spirit of Bram Stoker, a vampire (hemophagous Charioteer), a converted anthropolipus clearly borrowed from The Last of Us Part II and annoying combat drones that fill the entire sky.

The idea behind Serious Sam is very simple. Remove all unnecessary, build gigantic levels and generously pour a variety of monsters on them, giving the hero a wagon and a small cart of means of destroying opponents. No pauses, no delays, no cooldowns, just non-stop action and brief seconds of silence as you transition from one arena to another. In Serious Sam 4, the developers themselves break their own rules. The pace of the game sags at times simply indecently (France!!!), reloading appeared in almost all types of weapons. Moreover, the game now has a lot of additional elements that the first part carefully got rid of: numerous video inserts, a plot, secondary and incredibly boring characters, side tasks with markers and … a role-playing system (seriously?).

Side quests in Serious Sam 4 are a very strange thing. Sometimes, in order to get some completely useless thing, you have to stomp 2-3 kilometers to the side (no, this is not a joke, really 2-3 kilometers), cutting out hundreds of monsters along the way, and then come back. But sometimes in such “side effects” you can get really very necessary things in the household. For example, the same homing jet saw or a grenade launcher for a shotgun, without which it is VERY difficult to get through the third part of the battle in the Colosseum. I, due to a save failure, had to start the level again and as a result I lost all the weapons that were open before, and so, playing without it is really much more difficult. So, for all the boring side effects, they are still worth doing. Plus, at the end of such a quest (there is even a rescue of a princess who is ready for anything for her hero!) You will find another pun from Sam, sometimes even a good one.

As for the role-playing system, it seems superfluous here. SAM – Sirian Artifacts of Might, helps unlock fast reloading of weapons, replenishment of health when killing melee (not recommended, plus the animation is the same for all monsters and it is disgusting), the ability to pick up two weapons, including different ones, the ability to throw objects (WHY? ??), reloading on the run and the ability to ride a khnum or a bull. To be honest, you could do without all this. As well as without the notes that Sam sometimes finds, records, radio messages, etc. Serious Sam 4 is overgrown with mechanics that slow down the pace of the game and are simply not needed here. Give us back the simplicity and straightforwardness of the first part, that’s all you had to do!

As trite as it sounds, Serious Sam 4 leaves an ambivalent impression. It’s still Sam and it’s still fun to shoot him. There are a few nice twists in the game, like a ride in a popemobile, a “Just you wait!” job as a combine driver, a VERY BIG boss in the finale, and an episode with an old lady in Rome. But much in SS4 is done frankly carelessly and carelessly. The level design is disappointing, the graphics and performance don’t stand up to scrutiny, and the extra game mechanics just get in the way. This is not at all the game that we have been waiting for 9 years, and some even more, because not everyone liked the same Serious Sam 3: BFE .

Judging by the estimates and sales dynamics, Serious Sam 4 and Croteam are not doing very well. And there is a non-zero chance that we will not see the upcoming The Talos Principle 2, or Serious Sam 5, or even major updates to Serious Sam 4. On the other hand, Croteam has been on the verge of bankruptcy so many times over the past 28 years that this is rather a normal situation for them.

To buy or not to buy Serious Sam 4 right now? My advice is to wait for patches and sales. In general, this game can bring several hours of pleasure to fans of meat shooters (7-12 hours, depending on the pace and the desire to complete additional tasks), but let the authors fix at least the optimization.