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You may have been surprised to see that Liam Gallagher’s potential hip replacements (he needs two, apparently) made the headlines. The former Oasis frontman’s arthritic joints knocked Zelensky, partygate and Amber and Johnny’s latest marital linen-airing off the front page and for a minute we were all absolutely aghast. What? The bad boy of Britpop needs not one but two hip replacements? It doesn’t make any sense. He’s not turned 50 yet… he’s a baby!
This is because – as we’re often saying – we have recast midlife as a long period of glowing opportunity that begins around your mid-40s and continues into your 70s (everyone’s a bit reluctant to put an end date on it). According to our shiny new age stereotypes, 49-year-old Liam should be fitter, hotter and readier for action than he was at 39. We don’t like being reminded that there are some inescapable realities of the ageing process that even rock ‘n’ roll stars succumb to, crumbling joints among them.
So, for anyone who was genuinely shocked to discover that we don’t all age at Sir Paul McCartney’s pace, here are some milestones you might recognise. Let’s call them early onset midlife warning signs, for the sake of argument.
Still, we’re not old is the main thing.