As ever, Labour welcomed the ministerial statement but wondered why it hadn’t gone further. Shadow minister Chris Elmore sought assurances that “no Russian or Belorussian will play in Wimbledon”, and managerial solutions like official guidance for organisations and institutions to help them boycott back better.

After a while, as the laundry-list of complaints mounted up, I was suddenly reminded of the Hotel Inspector from Fawlty Towers and his litany of grievances: Evidence of smoking in food preparation area. Dirty and grubby food handling overalls. Lack of wash hand basin. “Sport-washing and cultural and art-washing of dirty Kremlin-linked Russian money”. (And there are two dead pigeons in the water-tank.)

Dorries responded to most of her critics with a cross-party charm offensive. “He’s raised some incredibly valid points”, she gushed, of Elmore, “all of which are being addressed”. Chris Bryant received similar treatment when he asked why her department wasn’t doing more to confiscate Russia-linked possessions and property. “My friend is not a Johnny-come-lately”, swooned the minister. “He’s been campaigning on these issues for many years”. Roman Abramovich and his yacht seemed momentarily forgotten in a shower of praise.

After a few hopeful bobs, Virginia Crosbie was finally called on to ask a question. “May I thank the minister for her work ensuring Putin is in a sporting and cultural Siberia of his own making,” she effused, revealing the mystery of what all the note-making had been about earlier. “Will she agree with me that these journalists are heroes?”

How could Nadine Dorries respond when presented with the exact words of Nadine Dorries a few minutes ago? “What can I say other than yes?” replied the minister.